


Why am I even doing this?

by SpicyMexicanJesus



Category: Hetalia - Fandom, Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Bad Touch Trio (Hetalia) - Freeform, Basically everyone shows up - Freeform, M/M, argentina columbia and brazil are the best of buddies shut up, bad friend trio (Hetalia), dont forget about the americas, fake dating au, france loves joan of arc okay?, i wrote this back in seventh grade leave me alone, im never gonna finish this, now?, or are people using, so why not post it here, this was collecting dust in my drive
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-20
Updated: 2017-07-20
Packaged: 2018-12-04 13:30:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,942
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11556195
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpicyMexicanJesus/pseuds/SpicyMexicanJesus
Summary: After the US left England for someone else, the bad breakup left a terrible taste in the Brit's mouth. But luckily France is there to make him feel a bit better.I wrote this in seventh grade and this is pretty much unedited. So have fun reading and what not.





	Why am I even doing this?

**Author's Note:**

> I posted this as completed because it kinda is and I am not going to do anything else with this this fic. So here you go!

'Why did he even dump me?' 'I hate him' 'ugh, what time is it anyways?' The Brit thought, he was hella drunk in some pub and was pretty sure that he wasn't going home anytime soon. "Angleterre?" A voice asked, "why are you in a pub, we have a meeting tomorrow. Remember?" 

"That stupid American dumped me for some Asian chick and here I am," England replied, slurring his words and still not looking up. 

"Are your brothers going to pick you up?" The voice sounded concerned about his wellbeing. Then England just blacked out. 

"I guess not" the voice answered to his question. The voice then carried him bridal style to his hotel room. 

It began to get cloudy as the two left the pub. "Mon dieu, Angleterre, how much do you weigh?" He asked loudly. 

"France?" England asked. 

"Yes, it is me" France answered the man. Then England blackout again. "Oh come on!" France yelled at the sky, still walking down the poorly lit street that they are on to his hotel. 

"Oh France, why did he leave?' England said in his sleep. 

"It's ok, mon lapin, it's ok" 

"I'm surprised that they let me take you inside the hotel, but then again it's pouring outside," France said, looking down at the Brit in his arms. The two made it to France's hotel room, it did take awhile to open the door though. 

*in the lobby*  
"Did you see that?" A kid asked his mother. "A blond, long haired man was just carrying that man with HUGE eyebrows," he told his sister, "do you think they're married?" 

"No Ian, I didn't see no ring on his finger," Ian's older sister, Jinx, replied, "They do make a cute couple though." The girl shrugged.

*back in France's room*  
France just tossed England onto his bed then plopped himself on the couch. It was a somewhat long day for France and he could only guess it was longer for England, finding him in a pub passing out. "I guess I should get some sleep too though," the Frenchman told himself as he got off the couch and put a blanket over his guest. Once that was done, he got a blanket for himself and went back to the couch, throwing the blanket over his body. "Bonne nuit, mon lapin" he muttered before going to sleep himself. 

*four hours later* *so now it's like 3am*

"Huh?" England asked, now somewhat awake, "where am I?" The Brit got up, still in the bed though, and noticed that he wasn't in his own house. He rose from the bed and walked around, noticing long blond locks. 'France?' He thought to himself. 'No it couldn't be, could it?' The France he knew would have gotten in the bed with him the first chance he got, this France had a blanket lazily thrown a blanket on him and was sleeping on the couch. 

"Jeanne," the Frenchman said in his sleep, "why did you die so soon, so young?" England knew which Jeanne France was talking about, he was the one who sent her to her death. France started to move, still in his sleep, saying, "Why? Why did he kill you?" Did England regret killing the French heroine? Somewhat. Did England care about the man on the couch? Yes, but he would deny it. England sat on the couch, next to the man, slowly stroking France, making France wake up. He didn't say anything though, he didn't want to ruin the moment. 

"I'm here, don't cry, I'm here" he said. Soon he fell asleep on the couch, laying next to the Frenchman. "Good night, frog," he muttered, making the 'sleeping' Frenchman smile. 

*now it's morning*  
"Wake up" France said, poking the sleeping Briton, "it's morning."

"Huh? France? Get the bloody hell off me!" The now fully awake Brit yelled before pushing himself off the couch. An 'ow' was heard when England hit the ground. "Why were you holding me?" He asked. 

"Actually, before I went to sleep I put you on the bed, blanket and all, then went on the couch, falling asleep," he matter-o-factly said, "then a few hours later, you were stroking my head, telling me not to cry, while I was still on the couch and you then laid next to me, falling asleep." France then got up, stepping over the Brit on the floor, heading to the bathroom get some clothes. "I suggest you change too, since we do have a meeting in a few hours" he called out. 

While he was showering, England was watching whatever was on TV. ''Bloody hell!" He yelled, he forgot his clothes at his house and he did NOT want to wear day old clothes, he was a gentleman to do so. The shower door open, relieving a Frenchman, into some new clothes and a towel on his head.

"Aren't you going to change?" He asked. 

"If I was going to change, wouldn't I been in different clothes?" The Briton replied. 

"Then put on some clothes," France told, 

"I don't have any!" England replied. 

"Do you want to borrow mine?" France asked. 

"Like I would put on frog clothes," he harshly told. 

"Then you're stuck wearing day old clothes" he called back. 

"Fine, give me some clothes and I'll take a shower" England said, giving up.

The two were now walking down the streets of London because they have time to spare. "You look sad, Angleterre, what's wrong?" France asked. 

"I'm still thinking about America" England told. 'I didn't think angleterre would be so open about this' France thought to himself, 

"You know we could date" 

"Why would I date a frog, frog?" 

"No, not date date, just fake date, where we date but it's just pretend," France explained. 

"And how will that help?" England asked again. 

"It would make him jealous" he told him, "how do you know that?" England asked once more, wow, England is just full of questions, isn't he? 

"Because I am the country of amour!" The country proudly exclaimed. 

"Fine, BUT we can't hold hands or kiss" England said, 

"but mon ami, if we don't hold hands people won't think we are dating" France replied putting his hand next to England, to which he held with his one hand. 

The duo walked down Paris, still holding hands, while looking at the stores, the city has to offer, before they had to go to the dreaded world meeting. "Merde!" France yelled as he looked at his watch. 

"Oye frog, what is it?" His 'boyfriend' asked,   
"The time!" He yelled again. 

"Bloody hell! We have thirty minutes to get to the meeting!" England yelled. The both started to run to where the meeting was, still holding hands, and were panicking. "If we run fast enough, we might be a few minutes late" England yelled at his partner. France used his free hand to glance at his watch yelled, 

"We have ten minutes Arthur!" The two were zipping past bystanders while they yelled at each other. 

"Hey,Jinx, aren't those the same two people we saw last night at the hotel?" A boy named Ian said to his sister. 

"It is, and look! They ARE holding hands! She couldn't help but point out. 

"I told you they were an item, but why are they running?" He replied/asked. 

"If I knew, wouldn't I tell you?" She asked. 

The two made it too the meeting a minute later. The double doors were slammed wide open to reveal a panting Englishman and a panting Frenchman. "Why are you two late?" Germany asked, a little too loud, so it sounded more of a command then a question. 

"Aren't you the host France?" He asked again. 

"We were" France inhaled then exhaled, "just walking" inhale, exhaled, "then I saw the time" he finished. 

"That's not a good excuse" Germany was starting to get annoyed, 

"well that's our excuse" England finally spoke up. 

Germany, done with this shit, plainly said, "fine, don't do it again and go to your seats." 

Spain was on France's left side, England was on his right. But next to England was Hungary. "So England, were you two just 'walking'" the female whispered to him. 

"W-what?" England couldn't help but blush at her comment. Somehow the meeting was off task because of the three amigos and the bad touch trio got into a fight. The trios were fighting about who was the best trio. Columbia, Brazil, and Argentina all yelled that they were the better trio, while Spain, France, and Prussia all yelled that they were the better trio. 

"We're the better trio!"   
"No! We're the better trio!" It was quite pointless but to both trios, it was the most important thing in the world. Because of this, more countries were fighting or just getting off task. Spain whipped out his axe while Columbia whipped out her machete. The other Latin American nations there started to back away from the nation and his axe. It was the same axe that killed the Mayans, Aztecs, and Incas, so they were cheering on the Latina from afar. "Go Columbia!" 

"Show him we Latinos rule!" Brazil and Argentina cheered on their friend. 

"Teach her a lesson Toni! Show no mercy!" France and Prussia yelled. The two weapons crashed into each other and more countries turned their attention to the fighting. 

"Place your bets here!" "Place your bets here!" Costa Rica yelled at the crowd. 

"Like hell I'm losing to you, España!" Columbia yelled as her machete clashed with Spain's axe. 

"Don't think I'll lose to you, hija" Spain replied. 

"I'm not your daughter!" She loudly exclaimed. 

Anyone wanna place bets?" Costa Rica asked again. 

"I'll place a few dollars on Spain!" America told her. 

"Really América? Won't even bet on your own Southern American neighbor?" Brazil asked. 

"What? Spain has experience," he countered. 

"I'll bet for Columbia!" The other two of the Three Amigos exclaimed. 

"Me too!" Cuba said. "She's my hermana, so I'm betting on her" 

"Well we're betting on Spain!" The other two members on the Bad Touch Trio yelled. Soon most of the nations placed bets on Colombia or Spain, but more people placed bets on Spain. The axe was knocked out of Spain's hands and the Latina pointed her weapon at said nation. 

"Stop this at once!" Germany's voice boomed throughout the meeting room. "This is all pointless so stop your fighting!" He boomed again. Everyone made it to their seats when Italy raised his hand. "Yes Italy?" Germany asked a little annoyed, 

"Who won?" Italy asked. 

"Uh... Colombia," Germany hastily replied.

"Hah!" Brazil and Argentina high fived each other, 

"That's our hermana!" Costa Rica walked around the room giving the betted money to people who betted on her. 

She gave a smirk when she walked passed America saying, "that's what you get for not betting on your neighbor." All the Latin American nations were clapping because they betted on their friend. The nations who didn't bet on Columbia were sulking because of the money they lost. 

After that happened, the rest of the meeting went fine. France and England weren't even fighting! 'That's odd' Hungary thought to herself, 'they would be at each other's necks by now' 'something happened and England isn't telling me' 'in fact, I think I saw them holding hands when they passed by the windows' 'I need to tell Japan about this'. 

"You sure anything didn't happen while you two were skipping the meeting?" Hungary asked England once more. 

"I told you, nothing happened" he told her.

"I'll find out," she said again, "I always do." That made the Brit shiver.


End file.
